It’s been a month since we met Blueberry in person. Since then we’ve been calling her Beth. It’s still surreal that I have a daughter after waiting and praying 3 years for her, and I sometimes wonder when I’ll get used to this feeling. Or do we ever?

Anyway, I’ve learnt a tonne of things in just a month but let me summarise it to three points. 

ONE. Motherhood is tough. One is the toughest things I’ve ever done. First it’s the physical discomfort of post partum – I’d often say if I was physically ok I would be up and running about. Then comes how notoriously hard breastfeeding is. The sleepless nights… but also the joy of seeing your little one smile or peaceful in your arms.

TWO. I’ve learnt lots of faith. The conception journey itself was faith that God would fulfill His promises. But even now, faith in knowing that your child has drank enough milk (because you can’t actually measure). Faith to know I am producing enough milk for her. Faith to know that we’ll be okay. There are so many new things and uncertainties – also a lot of faith that at the end of it God will protect our little family. 

THREE. A glimpse of God’s love. I was discussing this with a friend and it’s now I’m learning to see how much God loves us. Beth can make me so upset/short tempered sometimes, but I still look at her and smile. Breastfeeding her hurts so much or is so tough, but I still insist on ploughing through it. Because I love her and I want the best for her. And I’m starting to see how we throw tantrums with God sometimes, yet he wants the best for us because He loves us. 

Not extremely ground breaking discoveries, but just a little bit for a first month with a baby in my arms. Her half-hour nap has given me this time to pen haphazard thoughts so there you go!