39 Weeks

I’m a week short of my EDD. That means that there is a possibility that in a few hours or days, my life is going to change forever, non-refundable. Some days I look at photos like these and feel overwhelmed (in a good way) at how blessed I’ve been. I thought since this space is finally up, it’d be nice to update on the last 39 weeks of life and creating a life, and what next.

Those who had been following chronicles of #blueberryseah on Instagram would know it hasn’t been the smoothest road to where we are now. I shared about the journey in brief where tears were shed over what seemed like unanswered prayers, discontent and jealousy. Years ago, after a slew of medical issues like polycystic ovaries and blocked fallopian tubes, I had somehow convinced myself that I was pretty infertile and didn’t deserve a child. But I specifically remember 6th July 2019, was when all that changed. I still don’t really know why God chose that time to bless us with Blueberry, but he did. 

As you wait, something inside you stirs. Waiting on God is not a method to receive something but the goal itself.

The Wait taught me lots.

  1. The Wait taught me how to treat my patients. As a patient seeking medical treatment, I realized how vulnerable I was and how much I hated going for my appointments. It’s as if I showed up at the doctor’s office to hear bad news. That’s when I realized that when my patients come to me month after month, it takes real courage to show up, especially with the possibility that I’d be the bearer of bad news. It taught me how to speak to them – in a way I’d like my information to be delivered to me.
  2. The Wait taught me to be thankful. There were many things I was sour about, but the husband would always encourage me to be thankful for what I had. To be thankful, I had to let go of my jealousy and pride, and accept that God knows best for me. That was hard. But gradually I learnt to celebrate with people in their joys.
  3. The Wait taught me that God is faithful. He answers prayers. And in perfect timing that I never knew. Late November to December is a creative’s busiest month. I was 6 months pregnant then, still mobile enough to run a few fleas. By next Christmas, Blueberry will be 9 months old and manageable enough for me to run through another busy season. Even more so how things have slowed down with Covid-19 together with my growing whale-likeness. If it isn’t God then I don’t know who it could be. It took trusting God to bless us with a child, but that was only step one. We have to trust God to protect the child in the womb, when she’s alive, as she grows in the ways of the Lord – the challenge in faith never ends does it?

Faith isn’t me holding onto God, but it’s God holding onto me.

I’ve been incredibly blessed, and I can’t wait to meet the new member of the family.

Meanwhile I’ve had some enquiries on portrait commissions and wedding commissions. I’ve presently halted all commissions at present in preparation for Blueberry, generally because I didn’t want to commit to a project only to have to back out when Blueberry surprises us whenever she comes. I do hope to ease back into the grind once July/August 2020 comes, and would not hold it against you if you come hounding me about when I can take your orders. Meanwhile the online store will still be running, but I may need a little more time to pack and send out your orders. Should you need merchandise as soon as possible, there are ready stock at Wild Olive Branch in Suntec (West Atrium). I’ll also still be active on Instagram and email and will be happy to answer your enquiries and update this space as and when I’ve got pockets of time to spare. 

Much love to everyone for all their support through the years, and especially through trying times! 🙂

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